Lie #5 – Sexuality Is Dangerous

from Helena Sorensen Aman:

Lie #5: “Sexuality is dangerous.”

I learned that sexuality is dangerous by noting that among Christians it was more acceptable, on television and in movies, to see people gunned down or eviscerated in battle than to see a woman’s breast.

I learned that my body was dangerous, that it had to be covered and controlled because sexuality was such a potent enemy that nearly all men fell prey to it. Sexuality was a bigger battle for men because most women didn’t want sex, and those who did were expected to triumph over their feeble desire. But not men. It was unreasonable to expect that they should not sometimes fall. Having a female body was pretty thoughtless of me, actually, considering the distraction it presented to men who were trying to lead. Bless them. A girl had to be wise and mature and covered up and in control of herself and the situation because boys were like big, sloppy puppies. 

I learned that sexuality “out in the world” was a major threat to Christianity, that people “out there” were having all kinds of sex and enjoying it way too much, but we could at least be comforted that they would face the consequences of their debauchery.

I think I learned most about sexuality from the silence surrounding it. The subject was so taboo, so unwelcome, that I could only conclude it was an unwelcome part of me. Part of my sinfulness. Part of the problem. The appropriate Christian response to sexuality was to label it an only-just-necessary evil, lock it in a strongbox, and bury it so deep inside our psyches that we could forget it existed. Sort of. “Because shame and secrecy will make wonderful bedfellows!” we said. 

Did they ever. 

We were so afraid to admit that we longed for intimacy and connection, pleasure and release, so ashamed of the fact that we wanted to be touched. How could we possibly confess such a thing? If we were to see ourselves and each other as fully human—my God—what then?